I need a clean slate. With that comes a fresh blog. That's what all zoobies in Provo do, right? Well, I had just as well join them. Life has changed rapidly in a really short time. In two weeks I have had a friend take his own life. I have come to the realization that my career path may need to take a severe turn post graduation. I started liking indie music with female vocalists (I am not sexist...promise.). I have set some pretty drastic personal improvement goals. I need to know myself better. I need to be more connected to the earth I live on. I need to leave a more positive mark on this world in the remaining time that I have. Also, I think I have come to the realization that I look for the easy way out of every situation in this life. I made the choice this last weekend to put waiting for a missionary on hold. That was my excuse for not dating. That was my excuse for being a hermit. So this is it. I have to cut the crap and find a reason and purpose for everything that I do in this whimsical experience known as life. I have to quit "wasting" time -- or just change how I use it, rather.
I don't care what "you" do or do not believe. I am going to be frank and open here in my posts. I believe in God. I am trying to be a disciple of Christ by following his example in whatever way is humanly possible for me in my fragile and weak-willed state of existence. Look at Christ as deity if you believe he was divine. Look at Christ as a philosopher and nothing more if you do not. His teachings and philosophies will likely be referenced. I make sense of so much based on my belief in a higher power. Some may believe this as an ancient human coping mechanism to make us feel safe. I live my life and experience so much and every minute event tends to remind me there is no coincidence. There is no "luck". There is a plan and organization to the madness that fills every gap and void in our lives.
Hell. It exists. It is also a word. A word I use in my daily vernacular. I won't get too much more explicit than that because I think it erodes my pretentious diction's power and force. I love the art of writing and I think it strengthens our minds and our souls. Is this life hell? Not at all. Hell-ish things may occur that force us to question our existence and worth; however, wonderful things like music and smiles are so pervasive if one is focused on their surroundings.
I will also be blunt at times. Deal with it if you are interested in reading what I have to say. On my mind today - I hate Utah's weather so effing much. A fortnight ago, I was lounging in 70 degree weather. Now it is April freaking first and raining like mad outside. I just want to ride my bike and fill my veins with endorphins! Ok -- lame excuse again. I have a bike with fenders. I really have to put on my big boy pants.
Other blunt facts...I do not like country music. If all the people screaming "'murikah" would just listen to their dearly-beloved "patriotic" genre they would realize the filth that is emitted from their speakers is more sexual and perverted than anything Nicki Minaj or Lupe Fiasco throw down. Just saying. My observation. Isn't that the best part of life? We can all observe different things because no one every views life from the same angle! So awesome.
Ok. Enough for today. Accounting beckons. Cash flow statements, snitches! Love your lives!
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